Creature

“I looked for a man, but could not see.
I looked for god but he eluded me.
I looked for an alcoholic and found all three.”
-Barney Sloan, Twin Oaks Resort 1980

I have a major problem you see
I tend to let my thoughts run a little too free.
That’s one of the many problems with me,
And that’s the way it’s got to be.
Its been that way since I was three.
Even worse, it runs in my family tree.

There’s a lot of history in that tree,
Ever since it uprooted and crossed the sea,
With its branches many but leaves only three.
They were among the huddled masses yearning to be free,
And they were about to be,
Then it comes to me.

You must know it didn’t start with me.
It goes up the family tree.
Like honey comes with the bee,
We all can handle our drink, you see.
It’s our right and this country is free,
So what’s the matter with one or twenty-three?

I think the responsible number is three,
But what amateur counts? Not me!
And I can get most drinks for free.
I might break a glass or piss on a Tree,
Usually I go until it’s hard to see.
I think that the only way to be.

And that’s the way it’s gonna be,
I don’t want to stop at three.
That’s the problem you can’t see,
It really isn’t up to me.
It wasn’t up to my family tree.
We’re slaves to it, we’re not free.

But when exactly are you no longer free?
How bad do you have to be?
Is it when you wrap your car around a tree?
How about DUI? I know a guy who got away with three.
But how does any of this help me?
I know you got to open your eyes if you want to see.